Tripping On The Ladder

 By Jennifer Cohen
 (c) February 25, 2010

So I was at the gym the other day and on the back of a shirt, I saw the phrase:

Running is a metaphor for life. You get out of it what you put into it.

Naturally I sped up on the treadmill and ran an extra mile…

So I started thinking how true that statement is and how it really does apply to everything we do. If we simply exist, we will exist. Things will happen, but nothing extraordinary if we aren’t doing anything extraordinary.

My feelings were solidified when I met a woman at a networking meeting the other day. The woman was laid off a few months ago and was starting a new job the following Monday. We made jokes about being unemployed and how we went through a lot of the same troubles. We both went through the motivated stage, then the disappointment phase, and then got right back into the motivation (those phases–shaped like a dip–seem to be more common then you’d think).

We also spoke about how she was able to make looking for a job like a job. She spent at least 8 hours a day doing research, creating a marketing piece for herself, sending resumes and attending networking meetings. In addition, she spent some time volunteering and joined a few industry associations, in which she become a board member. These efforts helped her meet people, work on her skills and, ultimately, land a job opportunity.

I guess sometimes we prevent ourselves from putting out the effort because we can’t identify the rewards or don’t think they are possible…but really, they will never be possible if you don’t try, and if you don’t try your absolute hardest. So why not? Why not try just a little harder and put a little more into it? You might be surprised with how much more will come out of it!

“Fired…Four Times” is a monthly column written by 20-something Jennifer Cohen, chronicling her experiences being fired, four times, and ultimately reinventing herself in a new and successful career as a marketing and social media consultant.

 Guest Column By Marni Hockenberg
 (c) January 8, 2010

A job search can easily be put on the back burner during the holidays, especially if the search has lasted six months or longer.

It’s good to recharge yourself during the holidays to avoid job search burnout. But, like allowing yourself just one more holiday cookie, the temptation to play now and pay later can be dangerous. Moderation is the key.

Hopefully during this holiday season, you enjoyed your down time while also taking some simple and practical steps to jump-start your 2010 job search. But even if you didn’t, it’s not too late to boost your efforts now that the first days of the new year are upon us.

Reflect on your 2009 job search.
Write down five activities you did that successfully moved your job search in the right direction. Keep doing them in 2010. Then write down five activities that didn’t provide traction and discontinue them in 2010.

In other words, make a resolution to be intentional and use your time wisely.

Find an “Accountability Buddy.”
Job searching can be lonely—but with a buddy, you don’t need to be the Lone Ranger anymore. Write down and review your daily, weekly and monthly job search goals with your buddy. Ask him or her to hold you accountable. When you achieve your goals, your buddy can celebrate with you!

Flashcards will give your interview “flash”
Remember flashcards? I used them in school to learn math (where are they? I still need them!). Buy a pack and write down the tough interview questions that stump you.

Formulate your answers and ask your Accountability Buddy to participate in a mock interview with you. Rinse, repeat, rinse, repeat.

Preparation is key in a job interview! 

Attend job search educational workshops, forums and meetings.
Even if you learn one tip that will propel you toward achieving your goal, it will be worth your time.

For example, I’m offering an interactive Interview Workshop on January 12, 2010, titled “How The Hiring Game Is Really Played: Experienced Recruiter Reveals 9 Interview Secrets!” from 8:15-10:30 a.m. at the Ridgedale Library in Minnetonka, Minn. For those of you in the Twin Cities area who’d like to register, visit my Web site at www.hockenbergsearch.com/calendar. For those of you in other parts of the country, seek out workshops that will help you build your skills to become a more confident and prepared job-seeker.

No matter what you do, the simple steps you take now can pay dividends as the new year unfolds!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Guest columnist Marni Hockenberg is principal of Hockenberg Search, a professional and managerial recruiting firm based in Minnetonka, Minn. With more than two decades of recruiting and business consulting experience, Marni Hockenberg has a proven track record of providing focused, personalized search services to small- and medium-sized businesses to help them find, recruit and retain top-tier talent. 

 By Diva Nikki
 (c) January 6, 2010

Guilty pleasure admission: I’m a “Gleek.”  Since the very pilot episode of the TV show Glee, I’ve been hooked. 

There’s something about the absolutely over-the-top portrayal of a group of high school misfits, their weekly slushie face-dousing trials…and the way they continually fight through the negativity and adversity to do what they love…that endears this show to me.

Their wildly successful pilot episode featured the small group of initial Glee kids doing an amazing version of the Journey tune “Don’t Stop Believin’.” I will admit – I went out to You Tube and watched it several times.

There’s something about that song – and the show – that resonates with my life right now.  As the wife of a husband in career transition, I feel like negativity exists every day in our household.  While I’m quite happy (as is my unstained wardrobe) that I don’t literally have a grape slushie thrown in my face each day, there are certainly days where it’s hit me or my husband in a proverbial sense. 

Like every time he applies for a job and gets the lovely standard form rejection letter (sometimes within a day, which really hits you).  Or each time he tries to sell a great new idea for a startup business to a new client and never hears back from them.  When we count the days until unemployment insurance runs out.  As I’m in a store and don’t get to purchase something I want because we’re on a budget. And when we have to endure well-meaning people who say really trite, insensitive things about my husband’s current employment situation, essentially saying, “You’ll never be able to pull this off.”

Every day we live through the adversity, I feel just like one of those poor high school kids, getting up every morning and just knowing the cold, icky (though maybe not bright purple) reality that’s going to be sloshed in my face.

The lesson for me here really is:  “Don’t Stop Believin’.”

Don’t stop believin’ in my husband’s brilliance and abilities. 

Don’t stop believin’ that everything will be ok. 

Don’t stop believin’ that there really is a greater Plan unfolding.

Don’t stop believin’ that the economy will improve and more jobs will become available.

Don’t stop believin’ my husband is doing everything he can to find a new career.

Don’t stop believin’ in my own ability to keep supporting my husband emotionally…and our household financially.

I think I need to go work on my jazz hands…

 By Jennifer Cohen
 (c) December 18, 2009

Every job I accepted, I secretly knew (deep down in my gut, which I tried hushing at every interview) it was probably not the exact job for me…but then again, no one gets their dream job the first time around…or second, or third, or fourth. Right?

So, just because the job didn’t meet every one of my requirements and I knew I would be pigeon-holed in my responsibilities, I didn’t think it was a smart decision to just pass. I mean, why not give it a shot and maybe my instincts would be deceiving me?

But I was always right. The job would last for a bit, but I was very cognizant to the signs indicating it wasn’t going to be forever. I probably could’ve made a very aggressive over/under bet and made half my salary for pinpointing the day/time of separation.

I also think my appetite for success and leadership was never being fulfilled, since I was always required to start at the bottom and report to someone who wanted to prevent me from advancing. It seems as though the cut-throat environment of some corporations does not foster teamwork when you spend most of your time with bus tire tracks on your back.

What I can say, though, is that from each experience, I definitely took away something great and I do not regret any opportunity that came my way.

I am actually forever grateful for the positions and even more grateful for the separations. In every position, I always learned something new, expanded my network and learned a lot about management and how to communicate using various styles.

I can also confidently admit that I definitely knew that each of the positions  was not going to be where I would stay for long—and hopefully, I stayed just long enough in each before I was fired (four times).

The moral of this story is we should be in tune with our emotions. We should listen to what our gut is telling us and take it into consideration when making big decisions. There is constantly a struggle between what is true, what we want to be true, and our final decision. We should also understand that ultimately, the decision we make is the right decision and the way it was meant to work out.

So don’t regret anything from which you can learn something, but make sure you are not hushing your gut when it is screaming in your face.

“Fired…Four Times” is a monthly column written by 20-something Jennifer Cohen, chronicling her experiences being fired, four times, and ultimately reinventing herself in a new and successful career as a marketing and social media consultant.

Recent Posts:

• “Fired…Four Times. Now What?”

By Diva Nikki
(c) December 16, 2009

As 21^st Century women, we’ve grown up being told we can do anything—and everything—we put our minds to.

We balance careers and families. We volunteer, cook gourmet meals and wear fabulous shoes while doing it. We can do it all. We’re superwomen.

AND we’re now supporting our households financially and emotionally while our spouses search for their next careers.

The first time my husband was unemployed was within the first year of our marriage. We were both working toward our MBA degrees full time while working full time, and I felt like I still had to prove I was a perfect wife.

When my husband lost his job, I tried to keep things going as “normal”—which meant that not only was I working and studying full time, I was also still doing all the cleaning, cooking, laundry, grocery shopping, remembering of all family birthdays…you get the picture.

Eventually, I cracked. It was eating me up inside that I was doing ALL this work and my husband was home. All day. Watching curling during the Olympics and playing video games.

At first I wanted to blame him. “I shouldn’t have to ask him to help,” I thought. “He should just recognize what needs to be done and do it!”

Then I realized: The reason he wasn’t helping was because I’d never asked him. So I finally did.  I learned that there are ways to ask for help that are more effective than others.

Ask. Don’t tell. Don’t yell. Ask.
Truthfully, unless you ask, your spouse probably doesn’t even realize you need help. Yelling at him or telling him what to do are not effective. Be calm, be specific.

Specifically, ask for help.
Your spouse isn’t going to say, “Gee, honey – I’d LOVE to do a bunch more work I’ve never done before!” But loving spouses do get a feeling of purpose by helping those they love. You’re giving them an opportunity to do that. Plus, by taking some of the incidental sources of stress off your plate, you’ve got more capacity to provide emotional support for him.

Teach him what to do.
If you’re asking for help around the house with chores he’s never done before, your spouse may need a bit of instruction. Show him where supplies are, how to work appliances, etc.

Make things easy.
Gather cleaning supplies into one area.  Buy ready-made frozen meals or mixes. Separate your dirty laundry. Make detailed lists.

Adjust your expectations.
Your spouse is not you. Do not expect that things will be done exactly as you do them. Rather, appreciate that things get done. Even if towels are folded differently or you eat spaghetti for four days in a row, celebrate the fact that you have clean towels and a meal prepared for you when you get home.

Show sincere appreciation.
Your spouse is helping you out, during a time when he’s already feeling stressed. Let him know that you truly appreciate what he’s doing to help make your life easier.

 Guest Column by Jane Stubblefield
 (c) December 10, 2009 

Whether it’s expected, or comes as a complete surprise, being separated from your job is a shock to your psyche as well as to your savings account.

I joined the ranks of the unemployed last February. After the normal cycle of blaming and raving, I realized what happened to me was truly a blessing in disguise.

Finally I could step back, evaluate my experience and decide how to reclaim my purpose in life, which was much more about creating a livelihood than it was about just having a job. Obviously I would have to devote many tedious hours to finding a full-time position, but I also wanted to make that search process creative, nourishing and outwardly focused.

After spending months networking within industries related to my diverse background, I ultimately decided to return to my passion and focus my job search on finding a position as a Director of Volunteers for a nonprofit organization. 

Working with volunteers had always brought out the best in me, both personally and professionally, so it seemed logical that the next step in my job search should be seeking an appropriate volunteer opportunity to keep me nourished and connected to the professional community. My goal was to find an opportunity to make a meaningful contribution, network with the people in my industry, and gain new skills to enhance my resume (pretty ambitious for a 63-year-old grandmother who recently had retirement in her sights!)   

I soon was energized by a great opportunity! I am completing an unpaid internship at Twin Cities Habitat for Humanity. My assignment is to write a volunteer policy manual—a perfect fit for me right now. I’m “working” for a highly recognized and respected organization with professionals who appreciate my skills and experience. I’ll add this project to my resume, and I’m gaining valuable knowledge while conducting the research required for the assignment. By taking the initiative to pursue volunteer work while unemployed, I’m hopeful potential employers will see me as a resourceful, energetic and creative person who also takes responsibility for making a contribution to our community.

Whether you’re seeking employment in the private, public or nonprofit sector, the benefits of volunteering in these economic times are invaluable—a win/win for everyone!

Charities are experiencing unprecedented needs for skilled volunteers as requests for their services skyrocket and resources dwindle. Volunteers can provide much-needed expertise and in return, have the opportunity to freshen skills, add depth to their resumes and network with a wide variety of resources that can make valuable connections for them.

As for your psyche—volunteering turns your focus outward and helps you keep your own situation in perspective as you help those in need. 

Ready to volunteer?  I offer a few tips to help make your volunteer experience successful. 

• Explore your passions and determine what matters most to you before beginning your search.
• Target your approach. Find a position that will enhance your skills, and once in a position, seek project opportunities that showcase your talents and leadership ability.
• Be genuine and don’t over commit. Be honest about what your expectations are and make sure you understand exactly what is expected of you.
• Always be professional and do the best job you can, no matter what you are asked to do.
• Take every opportunity to learn everything you can.
• Temper your expectations. Nonprofits don’t always have the same level of resources that corporations do, so don’t complain about what the organization may be lacking.
• Always speak well of the organization. You never know who is listening!
• Be humble and helpful, and always respect the staff and their clients.
• Don’t leave the organization in the lurch! Seek short-term projects rather than long-term commitments, and if you find a job and need to leave the position before the agreed upon date, figure out a way to finish the project before you go.
• Request a letter of recommendation from your supervisor when you leave, and be prepared to make specific connections from your volunteer experience to a job interviewer.

 David McNally, international business speaker and author, suggests that “the seeds of thriving are sown through giving.” Aren’t you ready to thrive rather than just survive?  You have the time; you have the skills; now go find your passion and volunteer today!  

No matter where you live, organizations are waiting for your help. Step away from your computer and engage in a healthy activity with untold benefits. You never know where this path may lead!

 ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Guest columnist Jane Stubblefield is experienced in volunteer and event management and is     currently serving in a “nontraditional” internship with Twin Cities Habitat for Humanity. She lives in the Twin Cities of Minnesota, where she sings in the church choir and enjoys spending time with her toddler grandson.

 By Diva Nikki
 (c) December 9, 2009

In the long-running TV show, being a “Survivor” is the best thing that can happen. Competitors will go to great lengths and low depths to outwit and outlast. 

But in the workplace, being a survivor doesn’t come with near the glory…or the monetary prize.

In the midst of more corporate layoffs than most of us have seen in our lifetimes, there is rightly lots of news attention being paid to those forced into transition. But what about those of us who are still employed? The ones still left in the office, taking on piles more work, listening to crickets chirp in all the silent, empty cubicles around us?

Being a layoff survivor can come with lots of emotions and challenges:

• Sadness as you watch dear friends and long-time colleagues leaving.
• Anxiety as you wonder if you’ll be next.
• Stress as you figure out how you’ll now do the work of others on top of your own, because let’s face it: most companies don’t reduce work when they reduce staff.
• Guilt over your continued employment while other talented people are let go.
• Frustration over the seeming halt in your own career path while the whole company freezes hiring and salaries.

What can you do?
In the midst of all these emotions, it’s important to take the time to acknowledge your feelings and find ways to help cope with them.

 Express your feelings to your co-workers. Let them know you will miss them, and find ways to help with closure like goodbye lunches.

Offer to help them in their job search efforts.  Connect to them on LinkedIn, give helpful feedback on resumes or cover letters, and offer to give recommendations.

Talk to someone about your own stress. Many companies offer employee assistance programs for temporary counseling as a benefit. Take advantage of those services.

Do what you can to stay motivated…and healthy. In such a negative environment, this is hard. But find ways to keep yourself going. Set small goals, celebrate (in a subtle, sensitive way) your own achievements. And be sure to keep getting sleep, good food and exercise. In short, take good care of yourself mentally and physically.

Have a tactful, practical conversation with your boss about how to prioritize your work. As one of the few resources still available, you have value. Work together to create a plan for what’s most important and what you can realistically accomplish in a work week.

Focus on your career development. That seems almost impossible in a downsizing environment. But taking on new tasks also means gaining new expertise and skills. Use this time to learn and grow yourself. The economic downturn won’t last forever, and you could come out on the other side with many more tools to help on your journey up the ladder—or wherever you want to go from here.

Additional Resources:

• JoNel Aleccia, “Guilty and stressed, layoff survivors suffer, too,” MSNBC, December 15, 2008.
• Mary Zeiher, “Layoff Survivor Syndrome in the Workplace,” Associated Content, January 2, 2009.
• Susan M. Heathfield, “How to Cope When Co-Workers Lose Their Jobs,” About.com

Read these other recent Desperate Workingwife columns:

• “Desperate Workingwife: Turkey and Shopping and Christmas Trees, Oh My! Surviving the Holiday Jungle in Your Less-Than-Fully-Employed Household”
• “Desperate Workingwife: Give Me a Massage or Die! How to Relieve Your Own Stress While Living with Your Unemployed Spouse”
• “Desperate Workingwife: It Ain’t the Opera but I’m Wearing My Best Dress Anyway. Ways to Stay Romantic Without Spending the Fortune Your Unemployed Spouse Isn’t Earning Right Now”

 By Linda Lande
 (c) October 22, 2009

The recession has brought some companies—even some industries—to their knees, and hundreds of thousands of people now find themselves unemployed.

If you’re fortunate enough to still be working but suspect that you, too, might be heading toward unemployment, now is the time to prepare. Typically, companies handle employee releases one of three ways:

• With respect and caring. Employees receive at least two weeks’ notification that their jobs will be eliminated.
• With immediacy. Employees are called to Human Resources and told they will be leaving—now.
• With heavy baggage. Employees are not performing their jobs to the level the company expects, so they are asked to leave.

Part I: The Respectful and Caring Employer

If your employer is being acquired by another company, is merging with another company or, due to financial difficulties, will be laying off employees, consider yourself fortunate if you’ve received advance notice. But even with advance notification, many employees either keep doing what they’ve always done or let bitterness and confusion cloud their better judgement. Instead of making good, positive use of their time, they fritz it away with long lunches and short work days.

So, if you one day hear your manager say, “I’m sorry, but we’re going to have to let you go,” consider the following five positive actions that will benefit you—and your employer:

1. Quickly reach a point of understanding.

“Companies forced to lay off employees don’t just think this up one day,” says Renee Conklin, Vice President of Human Resources for SoftBrands, which was acquired in August by Infor. Employers would much rather be expanding and hiring, but difficult business decisions must be made sometimes. Conklin, who not only is overseeing layoffs but also will lose her job at the end of the year, advises people to quickly get themselves to a place of understanding—understanding that this probably is not what the company wants to be doing and that, like it or not, it’s what’s going to happen.

“For me and others I’ve worked with, reaching a point of understanding has been key,” she says. “I find it comforting to know the situation rather than live in the unknown. I appreciate being able to approach it strategically.”

2. Update your resume.

Do it now, while job duties and accomplishments are still fresh. “Focus on what you know rather than what you’ve done,” says Conklin. “List your knowledge, skills and abilities. Let the reader know what you can walk in the door and do. You’ve got their attention for 20 seconds, grab it—and keep it!” (more…)