Tripping On The Ladder

  By Diva Nikki
 (c) February 3, 2010

A few weeks ago I wrote about the importance of  keeping the romance going while you’re experiencing career transition in your household.  Of course, it can be challenging to be romantic when you’re watching your pennies. 

With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, I thought I’d give you some more ideas for keeping the spark alive, even on a budget.

 Have a cocktails and karaoke night – in your own living room.
(Or kitchen, as it happened to be in our case.)  Make some cocktails, plug the iPod into some speakers, and sing away to all your favorite songs.

 Support the local performing arts.
Attend community theater, community choir, high school or college performances. Tickets tend to be fairly inexpensive, and you might be surprised at the quality of entertainment.

Write letters to each other.
On paper. Reminisce about past dates, anniversaries, vacations or fond memories. Leave the letters as a surprise for each other in random places around the house.

Go to the movies – on a budget.
Attend matinees for new releases you can’t wait for. If your community has one, wait a few weeks, then catch the flick for ½ the price at the local budget theater. (The one where I live also serves affordable pizza!)

Invite other couples over for a shared meal with a theme.
Ask each person to bring a dish (thus saving costs for you) to fit the evening’s theme. Themes could be anything from a country to a certain color or letter.

Be tourists in your own town.
Check out your city’s tourism or chamber of commerce website to find local attractions or events with free admission. You might be amazed at the local treasures you find, like museums, parks, gardens, lectures or outdoor concerts.

Relive great memories.
On a quiet evening, pull out your wedding photos, honeymoon photos and other scrapbooks, cards or letters you’ve kept over the years. Cuddle up together and enjoy reliving the events that have made you who you are as a couple.

Learn something new.
Check your local city recreation, YMCA or community college schedules for available classes coming up. Classes through those organizations tend to be quite affordable. Pick a new skill you’d like to learn together like painting, ballroom dancing or woodworking and enjoy time together during class each week. Who knows – that new skill might even come in handy for your spouse’s new career.

 Begin a fitness routine.
Maybe it’s just taking a walk each day – or maybe you want to train together for a 5K next summer. Become each others’ fitness partners. You’ll not only get to spend time together, but you’ll also be able to keep each other motivated to reach your goals.

Volunteer and help others.
Usher at church, do yard clean-up for an elderly neighbor, read books at a nursing home, serve food at the local emergency shelter, walk dogs at the local animal shelter – there are any number of volunteer activities you can do together. And while your hearts are warmed by being together, you’ll also warm the hearts of others through your service to them.

We’d love to hear from you: How do you and your spouse keep love alive on a budget?

 By Diva Nikki
 (c) January 27, 2010

In one of my recent posts, I talked a bit about how the journey with a spouse in career transition can be a long one. 

So what do you do when the magical end date for unemployment insurance is getting closer and closer at hand? How, you may ask, do you cut things back even further when you’ve already been cutting back?

I’m going to preface the following with a disclaimer. (Thank you, 11 years of working with lawyers in a highly regulated industry.) I am not a financial advisor, nor do I suggest any of the following as official financial advice. You really need to consult your own professional financial about what makes sense for your situation and what your options are. What I do want to offer, however, is food for thought from my own life.

Here are some things to consider as the journey gets longer.

Look at your budget…again.
There are “nice to haves” and “need to haves.” For example, saving for retirement is a really important strategy. And…it also won’t kill our entire future if we stop investing for a few months. 

Rethink priorities…again.
Here’s an example. Our cable bill just went up. And we started thinking hard about whether cable is a necessity or just a nicety. Especially in the days of Hulu.com – is it worth over $100 a month for the convenience of flipping through a bunch channels just because we’re bored?  Or could we get by with Internet and more time to read books?

Protect the income you do have.
As the sole breadwinner, I decided to take out a disability insurance policy for myself, above what my employer already covered. It’s an added expense (at a time we don’t need additions), but for me it was worth knowing that if something happened to me while my husband’s still looking for work, the income we do have would be safer.

Encourage your spouse to start broadening the job search.
Undesirable as this prospect may be, if the realities of this economy and job market are such that he’s just not finding a job that fulfills his worth and experience, it might be time to broaden the options. Discuss the possibility of looking for less senior positions or positions in former fields of expertise. Or, if your family situation would allow, discuss the possibility of broadening the geographic part of the search. There may be more opportunity in other areas.

If dire straits are truly near, consider part-time work.
Not that any career professional (let alone an MBA) would relish the thought, but asking if “you want fries with that” would at least help make ends meet if you need to make up for unemployment insurance when it ends. And a part-time schedule would allow for networking and job searching time. If you want to be really supportive, you could consider part-time work, too. Perhaps working weekends at a shop you love.

Consider the value of your clutter.
Do you have things around the house you don’t use but may have value? For instance, since my husband and I got iPods, we realized we never used our CDs anymore. So we sold them to a used book store and made several hundred dollars. Look around to see if there might be things you could trade in for cash. 

Hang in there and keep supporting each other.
You will get through this. Together. There will be a better future.

 By Diva Nikki
 (c) January 13, 2010

I have a phrase I’ve shared with many people: “Patience is a virtue.  It’s just not one of mine.” 

Tolerance, I’ve got plenty.

Love, in abundance.

Understanding, in spades. 

Patience…not so much.

 So when I tell you that if you have a spouse in career transition that you should be prepared for this journey to be long one, I want you to appreciate exactly how hard that journey is for me.

 I’m a doer. I’m an action girl. I love to help. I adore making things happen.  How does that work into helping my husband find work? It really, really doesn’t.

 The reality is, in today’s environment it can take a long time to find a new job. There are lots of really talented, highly experienced people out there and available for hire. I remember a time when job descriptions might have said they wanted 10 years of XYZ experience, but didn’t necessarily require that of a potential employee.  I remember a time when they might have taken a chance on someone with different industry experience but who had the right skills.  Now, companies can be entirely prescriptive of exactly the length and type of experience they want – and have 46 people apply with those exact specifications.

 I’m not going to lie: the waiting is hard. And it’s especially hard as the spouse of the one doing the looking. Because really – there’s nothing you can actively “do” to help. And as the wait gets longer, the more stressful things can get.

So how do you get through the seeming eternity that is your spouse’s transition? How do you keep your household – and marriage – going?

 Occasionally, revisit your plan.
You put together a budget, agreed on compromises and schedules within the first few weeks of transition.  But it’s a good idea to revisit those if the journey is taking a few months. Make sure the plans you set will still work if things go longer than you thought. 

If need be, create a “worst case scenario” plan. 
What happens if unemployment insurance runs out and your spouse still hasn’t found a new career? Take another look at finances, support networks and possibilities. Create the “holy crud” plan now, while things are still okay. That way, if it needs to be put in place, you won’t have to create it in a panic.

Find ways to re-energize.
If you’ve ever followed a diet plan, you know that even when you begin a plan with utmost dedication, after awhile, you can lose energy. Find ways in the midst of this transition to re-energize – individually and as a couple. Talk to each other. Encourage one another. Pursue (affordable) hobbies or activities that make you feel good. Build romance into each day.

Stay supportive.
If you think you’re feeling dragged down as the career transition timeline continually drags on, how do you think your spouse feels? No matter how hard it is, keep offering support. Let him know every day you love him and believe in him.

 By Jenaissance
 (c) December 15, 2009

Whether you’ve recently been let go at work or whether you are finally pursuing your dream of small business ownership, chances are you’re saving your pennies right now.

It wasn’t that many years ago that saving money involved stuffing a sock with extra cash and hiding it under the mattress. Thankfully, we’ve all become much more creative since then, as these three new online resources—a must read for everyone interested in managing money—will surely attest.

WiseBread: Living large on a small budget
www.wisebread.com

Its name says it all: Be smart about your money. This blog and online community, a member of the larger Money Tips Network of finance-related blogs and news sources, leads readers on a journey toward frugal living, one lifestyle choice at a time.

WiseBread publishes a daily blog featuring a vast library of articles written by an extensive team of finance bloggers and money experts. A sampling of recent articles include:

• “The cell phone app that’s saving me a fortune”
• “The best way to avoid the worst financial problems”
• “6 powerful strategies for paying down debt”
• “Things you should and shouldn’t buy at Walmart”

In addition, WiseBread features a weekly “deals of the week” round-up and frequent contests in which readers are invited to submit their own frugal tips and the tipsters with the most innovative suggestions can win a prize.

Mint.com: The best (free) way to manage your money
www.mint.com

No matter how much of it you have (or don’t have, as the case may be), managing personal finances is often no small task. But Mint.com, a new financial web site, actually makes it easy…and fun! This free and secure online service allows users to manage bank and credit accounts; develop budgets; and manage investments—all in one place. (Just think: No more jumping from one web site to the next when trying to balance your finances.)

What makes Mint.com particularly invaluable is its built-in system of alerts, which includes a weekly e-mail to notify you about the status of your savings, credit and investment accounts, plus alarms that will help you avoid overdrafts, late fees and even changes to your interest rate that the bank might otherwise prefer you not notice. And, with its expansive graph system, Mint .com can also help identify areas where you might save more and spend less.

And, it’s not just us at Tripping on the Ladder who love Mint.com. It also was honored as a “Four Star” service by Money Magazine, named PC World’s Top-Rated Online Finance Service and recipient of PC Magazine Editor’s Choice Award, and listed among TIME Magazine’s Top 50 Web Sites. 

Get Rich Slowly: Personal finance that makes cents
www.getrichslowly.com

Recently named the most inspiring personal finance blog by Money Magazine, Get Rich Slowly is a spirited online community devoted to promoting sensible personal finance. The site was created by a self-professed “average guy” who found himself in tens of thousands of dollars in debt. So, he decided to do something about it, first by reading every personal finance book and resource he could find—and then by sharing what he learned so that others, too, could benefit—one small step at a time.

The site features regular bank rate comparisons, customized mortgage quotes, articles on home and mortgage topics (our favorite: “Furniture and Scambags: Adventures on Craigslist”) and lively message boards where readers share their best tips and wildest experiences relating to personal finance.

Ultimately, Get Rich Slowly is a story of a nice guy finishing first, for himself. And, really, what’s not to celebrate about that?

 Guest Column by Jane Stubblefield
 (c) December 10, 2009 

Whether it’s expected, or comes as a complete surprise, being separated from your job is a shock to your psyche as well as to your savings account.

I joined the ranks of the unemployed last February. After the normal cycle of blaming and raving, I realized what happened to me was truly a blessing in disguise.

Finally I could step back, evaluate my experience and decide how to reclaim my purpose in life, which was much more about creating a livelihood than it was about just having a job. Obviously I would have to devote many tedious hours to finding a full-time position, but I also wanted to make that search process creative, nourishing and outwardly focused.

After spending months networking within industries related to my diverse background, I ultimately decided to return to my passion and focus my job search on finding a position as a Director of Volunteers for a nonprofit organization. 

Working with volunteers had always brought out the best in me, both personally and professionally, so it seemed logical that the next step in my job search should be seeking an appropriate volunteer opportunity to keep me nourished and connected to the professional community. My goal was to find an opportunity to make a meaningful contribution, network with the people in my industry, and gain new skills to enhance my resume (pretty ambitious for a 63-year-old grandmother who recently had retirement in her sights!)   

I soon was energized by a great opportunity! I am completing an unpaid internship at Twin Cities Habitat for Humanity. My assignment is to write a volunteer policy manual—a perfect fit for me right now. I’m “working” for a highly recognized and respected organization with professionals who appreciate my skills and experience. I’ll add this project to my resume, and I’m gaining valuable knowledge while conducting the research required for the assignment. By taking the initiative to pursue volunteer work while unemployed, I’m hopeful potential employers will see me as a resourceful, energetic and creative person who also takes responsibility for making a contribution to our community.

Whether you’re seeking employment in the private, public or nonprofit sector, the benefits of volunteering in these economic times are invaluable—a win/win for everyone!

Charities are experiencing unprecedented needs for skilled volunteers as requests for their services skyrocket and resources dwindle. Volunteers can provide much-needed expertise and in return, have the opportunity to freshen skills, add depth to their resumes and network with a wide variety of resources that can make valuable connections for them.

As for your psyche—volunteering turns your focus outward and helps you keep your own situation in perspective as you help those in need. 

Ready to volunteer?  I offer a few tips to help make your volunteer experience successful. 

• Explore your passions and determine what matters most to you before beginning your search.
• Target your approach. Find a position that will enhance your skills, and once in a position, seek project opportunities that showcase your talents and leadership ability.
• Be genuine and don’t over commit. Be honest about what your expectations are and make sure you understand exactly what is expected of you.
• Always be professional and do the best job you can, no matter what you are asked to do.
• Take every opportunity to learn everything you can.
• Temper your expectations. Nonprofits don’t always have the same level of resources that corporations do, so don’t complain about what the organization may be lacking.
• Always speak well of the organization. You never know who is listening!
• Be humble and helpful, and always respect the staff and their clients.
• Don’t leave the organization in the lurch! Seek short-term projects rather than long-term commitments, and if you find a job and need to leave the position before the agreed upon date, figure out a way to finish the project before you go.
• Request a letter of recommendation from your supervisor when you leave, and be prepared to make specific connections from your volunteer experience to a job interviewer.

 David McNally, international business speaker and author, suggests that “the seeds of thriving are sown through giving.” Aren’t you ready to thrive rather than just survive?  You have the time; you have the skills; now go find your passion and volunteer today!  

No matter where you live, organizations are waiting for your help. Step away from your computer and engage in a healthy activity with untold benefits. You never know where this path may lead!

 ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Guest columnist Jane Stubblefield is experienced in volunteer and event management and is     currently serving in a “nontraditional” internship with Twin Cities Habitat for Humanity. She lives in the Twin Cities of Minnesota, where she sings in the church choir and enjoys spending time with her toddler grandson.

 By Diva Nikki
 (c) November 25, 2009

For most of us, getting through the holidays in a normal year is bad enough. The song “The Twelve Pains of Christmas,” by the Bob Rivers Comedy Corp, about sums it up for me.

Sending Christmas cards to extended family on my husband’s side I barely know.  Driving to and from—and spending hours in—rehearsals and concerts. Standing in huge lines at unforgivable hours of the morning just to get a few more dollars off the already inflated price of a Christmas gift your mother-in-law probably will return anyway.

So…now that you’ve got a spouse at home worried about finding a new job, you’re on a reduced budget and there’s more stress to go around than flour on holiday cookie baking day—how will you survive?

Here are a few tips for getting through the holidays while you’ve got a spouse in career transition:

Breathe.
I know the holiday season means three times as many filled days on the calendar looming at you from your refrigerator door. But now might be a time to reassess some of those commitments. Is there anything you can cut back on for awhile?

Prioritize.
Do you really need to make 70 Christmas cards by hand and handwrite messages in all of them? What if you send e-greetings to most people this year, and just saved the special cards for those most important to you? Evaluate which holiday traditions are most important to you and which ones can be changed or put on hold.

Budget.
Have a discussion with your spouse and family members about what you can realistically can spend—and can’t—on holiday gifts this year. Agree on a spending limit in advance, so there are no disappointments or embarrassments later.

Help others.
Even with your own transition issues, there are always those who need more help than you. Talk with your whole family about “adopting” a family or cause this year. Ask that everyone contribute what they would’ve spent on gifts to this effort instead.

Get creative.
Gifts don’t have to be expensive. In fact, handmade gifts are often more appreciated than something bought from a department store. A few ideas for creative, low-cost gifts for family members:

• Create a recipe book with all the recipient’s favorite ingredients. Search recipes online, copy them and paste them nicely into a document. Print out and place in a hand-decorated binder.
• Make jars of specialty hot chocolate, chai tea or soup mixes. Decorate the covers and include instructions for making the final product.
• Use crafting talents and supplies you already have on hand: knit/crochet scarves, stamp sets of cards, make mini-scrapbooks or create jewelry. Not only will your personalized gifts be appreciated, it will give you a fun, stress-relieving project you enjoy.

Realize this temporary.
No one wants to “skimp” on this special time of year. But remember that a few changes for this year won’t be devastating in the long run. And, who knows, your family may even love some of these ideas enough to start new traditions.

 Additional Resources:

• “Gifts from the Kitchen: Recipes for Jar Mixes, Food Gifts and More,” The Recipe Link
• “Holiday Gifts: 8 Homemade Gifts in a Jar,” SquawkFox, December 8, 2008.
• Amy Scattergood, “50 ways to make your holiday gifts homemade,” LA Times, December 10, 2008.
• Lori Johnston, “7 splendid homemade holiday gifts“

Recent Desperate Workingwife columns:

• “Desperate Workingwife: It Ain’t the Opera but I’m Wearing My Best Dress Anyway. Ways to Stay Romantic Without Spending the Fortune Your Unemployed Spouse Isn’t Earning Right Now”
• “Desperate Workingwife: Guilty Confessions of a Green-Eyed Monster”
• “Desperate Workingwife: You Got Up at WHAT Time? Helping Your Unemployed Spouse Find a New Routine…That Doesn’t Drive You Up a Wall”

By Sharon Korbeck Verbeten
(c) November 24, 2009

Yule know there’s a different feel to Christmas this year—the recession-tinged feeling is already in the air and in the store aisles.

While halls and malls are still decked out for the holiday season, the joy of shopping has been overshadowed—for many—by decreased wages, lost jobs or the threat of lessened job security.

Black Friday, indeed. These days that term might refer to the dread some feel about getting a pink slip on the last day of the work week. Still, there are those looking forward to the traditional “Black Friday,” when shoppers, like myself (I’m fueled by seasonal spirit, pumpkin muffins and Mountain Dew!) spring from our beds at 4 a.m. or earlier, eager to get the best deals.

According to the finding of one national survey, retailers are about to embark on the season of the serious bargain hunter. A survey by the National Retail Federation (NRF) found that U.S. consumers plan to spend an average of $682.74 on holiday-related shopping, a 3.2% drop from last year’s $705.01. And two-thirds of Americans indicated the economy will affect their holiday shopping plans this year.

So, what’s a savvy shopper to do? Here are a few well-considered tips.

Stacy Schuster, a sales associate with the GAP stores in Milwaukee, offered her best tip, based on personal experience. “Get a part-time job in retail at a store where you would normally shop,” she said. As an employee, the mother of two saves 50% on all her purchases—great for both personal and gift purchases.

Also a seasoned eBay shopper, Schuster recommends scouring the online auction site for items on wish lists. Bidding competitively—and early—can save a lot off retail prices.

Jennifer Hogeland, a mother of two from De Pere, Wis., also has turned to online shopping this year for most of her purchases, mainly because so many sites are offering free shipping. Shopping online also has a residual benefit, she said. “It avoids the whimsical and unnecessary purchases I’m sure to make if I’m in the store.”

The NRF survey also found that one in 10 holiday shoppers plan to shop thrift or retail shops for gifts this year. That may not only be smart and pocket savvy, but “green” as well.

“Why not recycle and repurpose items you don’t want?” said Pat DuChene, a single mother from Wisconsin. “Our family is doing a grab bag with a ‘trash into treasure’ theme.” Who knew re-gifting—once so uncouth—would now be considered so in vogue?

Now, where did I put that silly—I mean stylish—scarf I got last year…?