Tripping On The Ladder

 By Jen the Catalyst
 (c) March 26, 2010

I’ve come to the conclusion that “3″ is an important number when assigning order to the universe. 

In fact, the number three led me to jump off the corporate ladder!

How, you ask?

I had been working with Michelle Stimpson, a professional coach and owner of LifeShine Coaching, for about three months. My objective: to improve my drive and intensity and commitment to my work, my career. I expected to achieve the passion I felt when my adventure at the large Fortune 50 corporation was new, and to embrace my future there with more vigor.

In reaching out to Michelle and establishing our professional relationship, at a gut level I knew I was preparing to transition. I thought I was transitioning toward better personal synergy at this Fortune 50 place. What I found out, through one of the first exercises I did, was that I actually was preparing to transition…OUT.

That meaningful exercise was based on a simple three-part grid. 

I oriented my blank 8½-by-11 sheet of paper horizontally, and placed it in front of me on my empty table. I started with a clean slate.  I divided the sheet into three equal parts: ENDINGS, NEUTRAL, and NEW BEGINNING/DESTINATION.

It was easy to name the things I wanted to walk away from, what I wanted to say goodbye to. I started to believe that I should depart. 

But, I couldn’t figure out where to go next without first knowing and understanding why I was leaving. My brain started to shift toward the future… letting go of the endings freed me up to dream of my new destination.

What do you want to say goodbye to?

This article series “Diary of a New Entrepreneur,” which appears every Friday on Tripping on the Ladder, chronicles the journey of our newest contributor, Jen the Catalyst (known in real life as Jen Woods Antila), as she leaves behind her corporate life to embark on the road toward self-employment—and self-discovery. Visit her blog at  jenthecatalyst.wordpress.com.

 By Jennifer Cohen
 (c) December 18, 2009

Every job I accepted, I secretly knew (deep down in my gut, which I tried hushing at every interview) it was probably not the exact job for me…but then again, no one gets their dream job the first time around…or second, or third, or fourth. Right?

So, just because the job didn’t meet every one of my requirements and I knew I would be pigeon-holed in my responsibilities, I didn’t think it was a smart decision to just pass. I mean, why not give it a shot and maybe my instincts would be deceiving me?

But I was always right. The job would last for a bit, but I was very cognizant to the signs indicating it wasn’t going to be forever. I probably could’ve made a very aggressive over/under bet and made half my salary for pinpointing the day/time of separation.

I also think my appetite for success and leadership was never being fulfilled, since I was always required to start at the bottom and report to someone who wanted to prevent me from advancing. It seems as though the cut-throat environment of some corporations does not foster teamwork when you spend most of your time with bus tire tracks on your back.

What I can say, though, is that from each experience, I definitely took away something great and I do not regret any opportunity that came my way.

I am actually forever grateful for the positions and even more grateful for the separations. In every position, I always learned something new, expanded my network and learned a lot about management and how to communicate using various styles.

I can also confidently admit that I definitely knew that each of the positions  was not going to be where I would stay for long—and hopefully, I stayed just long enough in each before I was fired (four times).

The moral of this story is we should be in tune with our emotions. We should listen to what our gut is telling us and take it into consideration when making big decisions. There is constantly a struggle between what is true, what we want to be true, and our final decision. We should also understand that ultimately, the decision we make is the right decision and the way it was meant to work out.

So don’t regret anything from which you can learn something, but make sure you are not hushing your gut when it is screaming in your face.

“Fired…Four Times” is a monthly column written by 20-something Jennifer Cohen, chronicling her experiences being fired, four times, and ultimately reinventing herself in a new and successful career as a marketing and social media consultant.

Recent Posts:

• “Fired…Four Times. Now What?”

 By Jenaissance
 (c) December 14, 2009

A month ago, my husband and I became the proud “parents” of a miniature dachshund, Lazarus, whom we adopted after he was rescued from the pits of neglect.

He was in tough shape, having scratched or bitten off his fur after a severe flea infestation and subsequent allergies, and his ribs stuck out after being without food in an empty home for about a month before he was discovered. Frankly, he looked pretty pitiful, but we fell in love with him anyway. And while our dog brings a very sociable and clever dynamic to the household, he also brings a litany of health problems that we are still working with our vet to treat.

What’s been particularly interesting to me over these past few weeks, though, is how much we have to learn from these little creatures—even a “sad sack on the mend” like Lazarus. (And, frankly, don’t we feel like sad sacks ourselves far too often?) No matter how rough things get, that tail still wags. So, if you are feeling the “dog days” of unemployment or career transition like so many, take a few lessons from your friendly Fido.

The more friends you make, the more treats you get. (Or, the benefits of networking.)
Ben and I have lived in our condo in D.C. for three years. In that time, we have met one neighbor, maybe two. Then we bring home a dog and suddenly everyone knows Lazarus. By name, even. They stop to greet him in the entryway, they yell “Good morning, Lazarus!” from down the hall, they come up to him on the sidewalk to give him a treat. I’ve observed that the friendlier he is to our neighbors, the more he gets from them in terms of attention, affection and treats.

Sure Lazarus is impossibly cute. But the real skill is that he enjoys making friends. The tail wags, he prances over, he makes a big fuss of saying hello. In short, he demonstrates that his friends—old and new—are important to him. In fairness, I couldn’t recall the last time I acted so interested in seeing our neighbors. Lesson learned.

When’s the last time we ever greeted a friend or new acquaintance so enthusiastically? And why haven’t we? Start today. Challenge yourself not just to say “hi” but to actually have a conversation with someone new. You never know what new doors will open or friendships built. (Just, please, no barking.

Wag more, bark less.
Lazarus is pretty happy-go-lucky. He’s in the business of being hopeful—hopeful that a treat might fall into path, hopeful that you will tickle his belly, hopeful that someone or something interesting is just around the corner. In effect, he prefers to “wag more and bark less.”

I saw this phrase on a bumper sticker over the weekend. So true. It’s easy to let the chips get you down—and in this current economy more chips seem to be down than up. But you’ll be happier, healthier and more content when you focus more on the good things in your life and dwell less on the things that are less-than-ideal right now. It’s hard to do, but it’s important to try.

Respect the boundaries (but do challenge them when necessary).
Lazarus is not allowed in the kitchen, but this doesn’t stop him from trying sometimes. Oh, sure, he’ll sit quietly on the edge of the tile where the hallway meets the kitchen most of the time, but he throws all caution to the wind if the prospect of a treat is on the horizon.

It makes me wonder how often we play by the rules when, on occasion, breaking the rules might be in our best interests. Are you sitting on an imaginary line of someone else’s creation, waiting for something that may or may not happen? Or, when the reward is right in front of you, or even hidden behind a door somewhere, are you willing to just go for it?

Never feel guilty for resting.
I am not, and never have been, a morning person. So, when we decided to get a dog, I worried that I would not be able to manage those early-morning wake-up calls. Instead, we were blessed with a dog who is clearly not a morning person, either! Lazarus would sack in until noon if he could. And he often does, waking up only long enough for a potty break and breakfast in the early morning hours, before going back to snooze for hours on end. And you know what? He feels no shame.

You shouldn’t, either. Rest is important. In fact, it’s vital to a healthy life. When you need to rest— especially in these challenging times when you are working so hard and feeling like you are getting nowhere fast—just do it. Everything else can wait…at least until your nap is done.

You are worthy.
Lazarus just expects to be loved and adored. It’s not even a question in his mind. And the more he expects it, the more it seems to happen for him. He believes he is worthy of the pat on the head, the treat, the walk—yes, even the fish fillet he snatched off my husband’s plate when he looked away for all of five seconds. With him, there are no apologies, no half measures, no “what if’s.”

Wouldn’t it be great if we felt like we are worthy of success, joy, happiness, contentment, rewards? We are, you know. So, go for it! Claim what you would like to see happen. Be bold. Just do it!

 Guest Column by Jane Stubblefield
 (c) December 10, 2009 

Whether it’s expected, or comes as a complete surprise, being separated from your job is a shock to your psyche as well as to your savings account.

I joined the ranks of the unemployed last February. After the normal cycle of blaming and raving, I realized what happened to me was truly a blessing in disguise.

Finally I could step back, evaluate my experience and decide how to reclaim my purpose in life, which was much more about creating a livelihood than it was about just having a job. Obviously I would have to devote many tedious hours to finding a full-time position, but I also wanted to make that search process creative, nourishing and outwardly focused.

After spending months networking within industries related to my diverse background, I ultimately decided to return to my passion and focus my job search on finding a position as a Director of Volunteers for a nonprofit organization. 

Working with volunteers had always brought out the best in me, both personally and professionally, so it seemed logical that the next step in my job search should be seeking an appropriate volunteer opportunity to keep me nourished and connected to the professional community. My goal was to find an opportunity to make a meaningful contribution, network with the people in my industry, and gain new skills to enhance my resume (pretty ambitious for a 63-year-old grandmother who recently had retirement in her sights!)   

I soon was energized by a great opportunity! I am completing an unpaid internship at Twin Cities Habitat for Humanity. My assignment is to write a volunteer policy manual—a perfect fit for me right now. I’m “working” for a highly recognized and respected organization with professionals who appreciate my skills and experience. I’ll add this project to my resume, and I’m gaining valuable knowledge while conducting the research required for the assignment. By taking the initiative to pursue volunteer work while unemployed, I’m hopeful potential employers will see me as a resourceful, energetic and creative person who also takes responsibility for making a contribution to our community.

Whether you’re seeking employment in the private, public or nonprofit sector, the benefits of volunteering in these economic times are invaluable—a win/win for everyone!

Charities are experiencing unprecedented needs for skilled volunteers as requests for their services skyrocket and resources dwindle. Volunteers can provide much-needed expertise and in return, have the opportunity to freshen skills, add depth to their resumes and network with a wide variety of resources that can make valuable connections for them.

As for your psyche—volunteering turns your focus outward and helps you keep your own situation in perspective as you help those in need. 

Ready to volunteer?  I offer a few tips to help make your volunteer experience successful. 

• Explore your passions and determine what matters most to you before beginning your search.
• Target your approach. Find a position that will enhance your skills, and once in a position, seek project opportunities that showcase your talents and leadership ability.
• Be genuine and don’t over commit. Be honest about what your expectations are and make sure you understand exactly what is expected of you.
• Always be professional and do the best job you can, no matter what you are asked to do.
• Take every opportunity to learn everything you can.
• Temper your expectations. Nonprofits don’t always have the same level of resources that corporations do, so don’t complain about what the organization may be lacking.
• Always speak well of the organization. You never know who is listening!
• Be humble and helpful, and always respect the staff and their clients.
• Don’t leave the organization in the lurch! Seek short-term projects rather than long-term commitments, and if you find a job and need to leave the position before the agreed upon date, figure out a way to finish the project before you go.
• Request a letter of recommendation from your supervisor when you leave, and be prepared to make specific connections from your volunteer experience to a job interviewer.

 David McNally, international business speaker and author, suggests that “the seeds of thriving are sown through giving.” Aren’t you ready to thrive rather than just survive?  You have the time; you have the skills; now go find your passion and volunteer today!  

No matter where you live, organizations are waiting for your help. Step away from your computer and engage in a healthy activity with untold benefits. You never know where this path may lead!

 ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Guest columnist Jane Stubblefield is experienced in volunteer and event management and is     currently serving in a “nontraditional” internship with Twin Cities Habitat for Humanity. She lives in the Twin Cities of Minnesota, where she sings in the church choir and enjoys spending time with her toddler grandson.

By Jennifer Cohen
(c) November 23, 2009

Most likely you heard the old “we are going to have to let you go,” which is translated into “you’re fired.” Your heart probably pounded, your palms got sweaty, you felt a flush of heat through your body and you didn’t know how to respond.

You either chose to protest out of anger and explained why they are making a mistake with this decision (obviously you are awesome and don’t deserve termination), or you started asking questions to gain a better understanding as to why this unfortunate decision came about (clearly there is a misunderstanding). Either way, it is a gut reaction to emotion, but it is a decision rarely reversed and often shouldn’t be.

You are upset, confused, hurt, angry, scared or any combination of those emotions. You should be because being fired isn’t easy. Being fired is a true test of your versatility, resilience, attitude and sense of humor.

As a product of this situation (four times), I can tell you what I learned and give you some insight into your next steps and hopefully, this will make things a little easier.

Grieve and then accept.
Of course you must allow yourself some time to be upset and question your self-worth (it happens to everyone). You will second-guess every decision you ever made and wonder if you are following a path made for someone else. Allow SOME time for this, but not too much. Once you get to the point where you feel sorry for yourself in every way possible, you have to pick up the pieces and quit feeling sorry. Make a conscious decision to make a change and get moving!

Embrace the time.
Take a few days “off.” Seriously, enjoy the quasi-vacation and do something you always claimed you didn’t have time to do. This could mean a day trip to a park, a run on a trail or taking your family on a picnic. Also, take the time between jobs to reflect on what you truly want out of life. Decide your aspirations and what fulfills you. This might be your opportunity to choose a new path and profession. Prioritize based on your necessities and lifestyle. If you have a family to support and/or purchases needing financial attention, take those into consideration when deciding you want to be a Rockstar—that might not be the best choice, although a life-long dream you always wanted to come true.

Decide and devise.
Decide what you are going to do and devise a plan to get you there. Pick the long-term goal and keep an eye on the prize and then seek feedback. Sometimes when we see the wealth of opportunity, we lose sight on reality and feasibility. Consult a loved one for feedback on your plan to be sure you are shooting for the stars and not a completely different galaxy.

Execute. Do it.
Seriously, take your plan and start making decisions and taking actions. A well-designed plan won’t get you anywhere if you don’t take it seriously and make moves in the right direction. Don’t be all talk and no action.

Don’t lose hope.
There is no doubt you will get discouraged. The momentum you feel from networking and sending resumes will start to wear, but be positive. You can’t give up because the minute you do, you lose. The only thing you have is your internal inspiration and ability to kick yourself in the butt so keep kicking!

Remember that you were fired because the opportunity was no longer the right opportunity.

Onward and upward!

“Fired…Four Times” is a monthly column written by 20-something Jennifer Cohen, chronicling her experiences being fired, four times, and ultimately reinventing herself in a new and successful career as a marketing and social media consultant. Her next column will appear in December.

 By Tripping on the Ladder
 (c) 2009

We spend so much time, money and effort in pursuit of our academic and career  goals–and, in a down economy like the one we’re in, increasing numbers of people are pursuing expensive graduate and professional degrees while waiting for the employment forecast to improve.  

So what happens, either today or sometime down the road, when, after working so hard to achieve your career aspirations, you discover it’s not as fulfilling as you had hoped?

In this edition of “Ask the Experts,” we turn to one of our regular experts, Julie Paleen of Blue Star Group, to shine the spotlight on this frequent experience and what to do from here.

To read this and other recent Ask the Experts columns, click here.

 Featuring Julie Paleen
 Professional Coach and HR Consultant, Blue Star Group
 

Do you have a question you’d like to “Ask the Experts”? Submit your question to editor@trippingontheladder.

 By Diva Nikki
 (c) October 14, 2009

You’re finishing up your workday, answering a few more e-mails and tidying up some papers on your desk.  The phone rings and you see on the caller ID that it’s your husband. 

Not uncommon – there are often calls like this at the end of the day to discuss what to pick up for dinner. So you answer, phone crooked between your ear and shoulder so you can multi-task while talking.  And then you hear the words…

“Honey…I’m so sorry to tell you this. But I just lost my job.”

The typing stops. Your hand comes up to hold onto the receiver because you need to hold onto something right now.  You no longer even see the papers on your desk because you’ve developed a sort of tunnel vision. And it feels like your heart just landed in the pit of your stomach.

How do I know?  Because I’ve been there.  Three times in six years of marriage, I’ve been there and gotten that phone call.  My name is Diva Nikki, and I’m a Desperate Workingwife.

Things you need to hear: Don’t panic, and you’re not alone.

Despite your initial instincts, should you be in the midst of one of these phone calls right now, remember the reason that the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy was so popular was because it had the words “Don’t Panic” in large, friendly letters on the cover. (more…)

 By Diva Nikki
 (c) October 13, 2009

Are you looking for potential next steps in your career but are not quite sure what that next step should be?  Or maybe there’s a manager in your company that you think would be great to work for–or a company you’d really like to be part of–but there are currently no positions posted.

An informational interview could help you in any of these situations. Unlike an official job interview, an informational interview is about gathering and sharing information in a casual way. You gain information about a manager or position in which you might be interested.  And you share information about yourself that – hopefully – will interest them.

So how do you get an informational interview? 
It’s easier than you might think. Remember, you’re asking someone to talk about themselves and what they do–something most people relish the opportunity to do! Good managers also keep their eyes open for talent, so you’re helping them by sharing your information, too. (more…)