Family Matters

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Tue 24 Nov 2009

Santa, Maybe? Recession Prompts Holiday Shoppers to be More Budget Savvy

Posted by Tripping on the Ladder under Deals & Discounts, Family Matters, Friends, Money & Finance, Resources & Helpful Hints, Spouses & Loved Ones
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Sharon Verbeten By Sharon Korbeck Verbeten
(c) November 24, 2009

Yule know there’s a different feel to Christmas this year—the recession-tinged feeling is already in the air and in the store aisles.

While halls and malls are still decked out for the holiday season, the joy of shopping has been overshadowed—for many—by decreased wages, lost jobs or the threat of lessened job security.

Black Friday, indeed. These days that term might refer to the dread some feel about getting a pink slip on the last day Santaof the work week. Still, there are those looking forward to the traditional “Black Friday,” when shoppers, like myself (I’m fueled by seasonal spirit, pumpkin muffins and Mountain Dew!) spring from our beds at 4 a.m. or earlier, eager to get the best deals.

According to the finding of one national survey, retailers are about to embark on the season of the serious bargain hunter. A survey by the National Retail Federation (NRF) found that U.S. consumers plan to spend an average of $682.74 on holiday-related shopping, a 3.2% drop from last year’s $705.01. And two-thirds of Americans indicated the economy will affect their holiday shopping plans this year.

So, what’s a savvy shopper to do? Here are a few well-considered tips.

Stacy Schuster, a sales associate with the GAP stores in Milwaukee, offered her best tip, based on personal experience. “Get a part-time job in retail at a store where you would normally shop,” she said. As an employee, the mother of two saves 50% on all her purchases—great for both personal and gift purchases.

Also a seasoned eBay shopper, Schuster recommends scouring the online auction site for items on wish lists. Bidding competitively—and early—can save a lot off retail prices.

Jennifer Hogeland, a mother of two from De Pere, Wis., also has turned to online shopping this year for most of her purchases, mainly because so many sites are offering free shipping. Shopping online also has a residual benefit, she said. “It avoids the whimsical and unnecessary purchases I’m sure to make if I’m in the store.”

The NRF survey also found that one in 10 holiday shoppers plan to shop thrift or retail shops for gifts this year. That may not only be smart and pocket savvy, but “green” as well.

“Why not recycle and repurpose items you don’t want?” said Pat DuChene, a single mother from Wisconsin. “Our family is doing a grab bag with a ‘trash into treasure’ theme.” Who knew re-gifting—once so uncouth—would now be considered so in vogue?

Now, where did I put that silly—I mean stylish—scarf I got last year…?

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Wed 4 Nov 2009

Desperate Workingwife: You Got Up at WHAT Time? Helping Your Unemployed Spouse Find a New Routine…That Doesn’t Drive You Up a Wall

Posted by Tripping on the Ladder under Desperate Workingwife, Family Matters, Spouses & Loved Ones
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Diva Nikki  By Diva Nikki
 (c) November 4, 2009


It’s understandable that the first thing anyone would want to do when suddenly not required to show up at work is to stop setting an alarm and start sleeping in. Heck, isn’t that Desperate Workingwifewhat we do most weekends?

And yet, there comes a time after that first week or so of adjustment to the “new normal” of career transition when you realize that your beloved spouse might be taking that newfound freedom to a new level. And seriously, if you find him one more time on the couch in his pajamas after not having gotten up until noon, with the TV playing old Star Trek episodes and chips scattered all over the couch, you’re going to have to kill someone.

 Am I speaking to anyone here?

Before you get blood all over a perfectly good carpet, I’d like to suggest having the first of what might be a handful of courageous conversations with your spouse about his career transition period, and how he might make it productive for himself—and you.

 Establishing a Temporary Routine

Talk about it.
While you really do need to be sensitive to your spouse’s feelings, that doesn’t mean you should bottle all your own. Ask to find a time to have a quiet, logical discussion about how it makes you feel to be working full time knowing your spouse’s day is being used less than productively. Also, ask him to remember that this schedule affects you, too. For instance, hearing the TV going late into the night may affect your sleep—and you still have to get up for work!

Suggest some compromises.
No one is saying your spouse can’t sleep in a little. But suggest a compromise that would work for both of you. Maybe he gets up shortly after you go to work, with the benefit of having freshly brewed coffee waiting for him. And rather than staying up late, perhaps you could suggest that there’s something in it for him if he comes to bed when you do. 

Offer ideas for using time in ways that benefit you both.
Since you’re working full time and your spouse is at home, ask (don’t command) if he can help out more with the household duties for now. Remind him that this is temporary, during this transition time, and that this would really help you out. Additionally, suggest ways he could use his time that would benefit him. Maybe there’s a project he’s always wanted time to finish or a subject he’s always been interested in researching. This would be a great time for him to use some time for that.

Together, come up with a schedule.
Having a daily routine has been proven to be psychologically beneficial. Work together to establish a schedule that benefits everyone in the household. It should include some time for job searching, some time for household duties and some time for pursuit of projects that inspire happiness. Here’s an example you could use as a start.  

Sample Temporary Schedule Yielding Sanity for Both Spouses

  • 8:00 a.m. – wake up. Enjoy fresh coffee brewed by darling, if Desperate Workingwife
  • 8:15-8:30 a.m. – Initial e-mail check for responses to job applications
  • 8:30 – 9:00 a.m. – Shower, get dressed
  • 9:00 – 10:30 a.m. – Research new job postings online, e-mail networking contacts
  • 10:30 a.m. – 12:00 p.m. – Perform household tasks (cleaning, grocery shopping, walking pets, etc.)
  • 12:00 – 1:00 p.m. – Lunch with a friend or networking contact, outside of home
  • 1:00 – 3:00 p.m. – Time to pursue own goals (read classic literature, write memoirs, build new shelves in the garage, fix car, etc.)
  • 3:00 – 4:00 p.m. – Second e-mail check to respond to job inquiries, networking contacts
  • 4:00 – 5:00 p.m. – Prepare dinner
  • 5:00 – 6:00 p.m. – Enjoy budget-friendly, home-made meal with darling Workingwife. Talk about each other’s days.
  • 6:00 – 10:00 p.m. – Time to spend together with spouse/family/friends
  • 10:00 p.m. – Crawl into bed together, read books for awhile, then snuggle up in a supportive embrace.

Additional Resources: 

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Wed 14 Oct 2009

Desperate Workingwife: The Dreaded Call

Posted by Tripping on the Ladder under Crisis Mode, Desperate Workingwife, Family Matters, Job Loss, Now What?, Spouses & Loved Ones
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Diva Nikki  By Diva Nikki
 (c) October 14, 2009

You’re finishing up your workday, answering a few more e-mails and tidying up some papers on avt_divanikki96_largeyour desk.  The phone rings and you see on the caller ID that it’s your husband. 

Not uncommon – there are often calls like this at the end of the day to discuss what to pick up for dinner. So you answer, phone crooked between your ear and shoulder so you can multi-task while talking.  And then you hear the words…

“Honey…I’m so sorry to tell you this. But I just lost my job.”

The typing stops. Your hand comes up to hold onto the receiver because you need to hold onto something right now.  You no longer even see the papers on your desk because you’ve developed a sort of tunnel vision. And it feels like your heart just landed in the pit of your stomach.

How do I know?  Because I’ve been there.  Three times in six years of marriage, I’ve been there and gotten that phone call.  My name is Diva Nikki, and I’m a Desperate Workingwife.

Things you need to hear: Don’t panic, and you’re not alone.

Despite your initial instincts, should you be in the midst of one of these phone calls right now, remember the reason that the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy was so popular was because it had the words “Don’t Panic” in large, friendly letters on the cover. (more…)

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