Tripping On The Ladder

 By Jennifer Cohen
 (c) December 18, 2009

Every job I accepted, I secretly knew (deep down in my gut, which I tried hushing at every interview) it was probably not the exact job for me…but then again, no one gets their dream job the first time around…or second, or third, or fourth. Right?

So, just because the job didn’t meet every one of my requirements and I knew I would be pigeon-holed in my responsibilities, I didn’t think it was a smart decision to just pass. I mean, why not give it a shot and maybe my instincts would be deceiving me?

But I was always right. The job would last for a bit, but I was very cognizant to the signs indicating it wasn’t going to be forever. I probably could’ve made a very aggressive over/under bet and made half my salary for pinpointing the day/time of separation.

I also think my appetite for success and leadership was never being fulfilled, since I was always required to start at the bottom and report to someone who wanted to prevent me from advancing. It seems as though the cut-throat environment of some corporations does not foster teamwork when you spend most of your time with bus tire tracks on your back.

What I can say, though, is that from each experience, I definitely took away something great and I do not regret any opportunity that came my way.

I am actually forever grateful for the positions and even more grateful for the separations. In every position, I always learned something new, expanded my network and learned a lot about management and how to communicate using various styles.

I can also confidently admit that I definitely knew that each of the positions  was not going to be where I would stay for long—and hopefully, I stayed just long enough in each before I was fired (four times).

The moral of this story is we should be in tune with our emotions. We should listen to what our gut is telling us and take it into consideration when making big decisions. There is constantly a struggle between what is true, what we want to be true, and our final decision. We should also understand that ultimately, the decision we make is the right decision and the way it was meant to work out.

So don’t regret anything from which you can learn something, but make sure you are not hushing your gut when it is screaming in your face.

“Fired…Four Times” is a monthly column written by 20-something Jennifer Cohen, chronicling her experiences being fired, four times, and ultimately reinventing herself in a new and successful career as a marketing and social media consultant.

Recent Posts:

• “Fired…Four Times. Now What?”

 By Diva Nikki
 (c) December 9, 2009

In the long-running TV show, being a “Survivor” is the best thing that can happen. Competitors will go to great lengths and low depths to outwit and outlast. 

But in the workplace, being a survivor doesn’t come with near the glory…or the monetary prize.

In the midst of more corporate layoffs than most of us have seen in our lifetimes, there is rightly lots of news attention being paid to those forced into transition. But what about those of us who are still employed? The ones still left in the office, taking on piles more work, listening to crickets chirp in all the silent, empty cubicles around us?

Being a layoff survivor can come with lots of emotions and challenges:

• Sadness as you watch dear friends and long-time colleagues leaving.
• Anxiety as you wonder if you’ll be next.
• Stress as you figure out how you’ll now do the work of others on top of your own, because let’s face it: most companies don’t reduce work when they reduce staff.
• Guilt over your continued employment while other talented people are let go.
• Frustration over the seeming halt in your own career path while the whole company freezes hiring and salaries.

What can you do?
In the midst of all these emotions, it’s important to take the time to acknowledge your feelings and find ways to help cope with them.

 Express your feelings to your co-workers. Let them know you will miss them, and find ways to help with closure like goodbye lunches.

Offer to help them in their job search efforts.  Connect to them on LinkedIn, give helpful feedback on resumes or cover letters, and offer to give recommendations.

Talk to someone about your own stress. Many companies offer employee assistance programs for temporary counseling as a benefit. Take advantage of those services.

Do what you can to stay motivated…and healthy. In such a negative environment, this is hard. But find ways to keep yourself going. Set small goals, celebrate (in a subtle, sensitive way) your own achievements. And be sure to keep getting sleep, good food and exercise. In short, take good care of yourself mentally and physically.

Have a tactful, practical conversation with your boss about how to prioritize your work. As one of the few resources still available, you have value. Work together to create a plan for what’s most important and what you can realistically accomplish in a work week.

Focus on your career development. That seems almost impossible in a downsizing environment. But taking on new tasks also means gaining new expertise and skills. Use this time to learn and grow yourself. The economic downturn won’t last forever, and you could come out on the other side with many more tools to help on your journey up the ladder—or wherever you want to go from here.

Additional Resources:

• JoNel Aleccia, “Guilty and stressed, layoff survivors suffer, too,” MSNBC, December 15, 2008.
• Mary Zeiher, “Layoff Survivor Syndrome in the Workplace,” Associated Content, January 2, 2009.
• Susan M. Heathfield, “How to Cope When Co-Workers Lose Their Jobs,” About.com

Read these other recent Desperate Workingwife columns:

• “Desperate Workingwife: Turkey and Shopping and Christmas Trees, Oh My! Surviving the Holiday Jungle in Your Less-Than-Fully-Employed Household”
• “Desperate Workingwife: Give Me a Massage or Die! How to Relieve Your Own Stress While Living with Your Unemployed Spouse”
• “Desperate Workingwife: It Ain’t the Opera but I’m Wearing My Best Dress Anyway. Ways to Stay Romantic Without Spending the Fortune Your Unemployed Spouse Isn’t Earning Right Now”

By Jennifer Cohen
(c) November 23, 2009

Most likely you heard the old “we are going to have to let you go,” which is translated into “you’re fired.” Your heart probably pounded, your palms got sweaty, you felt a flush of heat through your body and you didn’t know how to respond.

You either chose to protest out of anger and explained why they are making a mistake with this decision (obviously you are awesome and don’t deserve termination), or you started asking questions to gain a better understanding as to why this unfortunate decision came about (clearly there is a misunderstanding). Either way, it is a gut reaction to emotion, but it is a decision rarely reversed and often shouldn’t be.

You are upset, confused, hurt, angry, scared or any combination of those emotions. You should be because being fired isn’t easy. Being fired is a true test of your versatility, resilience, attitude and sense of humor.

As a product of this situation (four times), I can tell you what I learned and give you some insight into your next steps and hopefully, this will make things a little easier.

Grieve and then accept.
Of course you must allow yourself some time to be upset and question your self-worth (it happens to everyone). You will second-guess every decision you ever made and wonder if you are following a path made for someone else. Allow SOME time for this, but not too much. Once you get to the point where you feel sorry for yourself in every way possible, you have to pick up the pieces and quit feeling sorry. Make a conscious decision to make a change and get moving!

Embrace the time.
Take a few days “off.” Seriously, enjoy the quasi-vacation and do something you always claimed you didn’t have time to do. This could mean a day trip to a park, a run on a trail or taking your family on a picnic. Also, take the time between jobs to reflect on what you truly want out of life. Decide your aspirations and what fulfills you. This might be your opportunity to choose a new path and profession. Prioritize based on your necessities and lifestyle. If you have a family to support and/or purchases needing financial attention, take those into consideration when deciding you want to be a Rockstar—that might not be the best choice, although a life-long dream you always wanted to come true.

Decide and devise.
Decide what you are going to do and devise a plan to get you there. Pick the long-term goal and keep an eye on the prize and then seek feedback. Sometimes when we see the wealth of opportunity, we lose sight on reality and feasibility. Consult a loved one for feedback on your plan to be sure you are shooting for the stars and not a completely different galaxy.

Execute. Do it.
Seriously, take your plan and start making decisions and taking actions. A well-designed plan won’t get you anywhere if you don’t take it seriously and make moves in the right direction. Don’t be all talk and no action.

Don’t lose hope.
There is no doubt you will get discouraged. The momentum you feel from networking and sending resumes will start to wear, but be positive. You can’t give up because the minute you do, you lose. The only thing you have is your internal inspiration and ability to kick yourself in the butt so keep kicking!

Remember that you were fired because the opportunity was no longer the right opportunity.

Onward and upward!

“Fired…Four Times” is a monthly column written by 20-something Jennifer Cohen, chronicling her experiences being fired, four times, and ultimately reinventing herself in a new and successful career as a marketing and social media consultant. Her next column will appear in December.

 By Dan d’Man
 (c) November 6, 2009
 

You’ve lost your job and you feel:

A)    Angry
B)     Depressed
C)    Stressed
D)    All of the above (and more)

 If you’re unfortunate enough to be counted among the millions of recently unemployed Americans, no one would blame you for answering D. After all, it’s only natural to have such feelings, right?

“In a more healthy economy, people generally deal with a job loss pretty well because they feel there are other opportunities out there,” said Charlie Cummins, MS, LPC, and President of Roswell, Georgia-based Life Transitions Consulting. “But right now, with so much economic turmoil, there’s a fear that those opportunities don’t exist. And it’s creating a lot of anxiety.”

Charlie Cummins, MS, LPC

 But when are those normal feelings of stress and anxiety a sign of more serious issues and a cause for concern? 

Cummins, who has more than 20 years of experience as a counselor and life- and performance-coach, says the answer lies in our surroundings.

“All illness feeds on and moves us toward isolation. Unfortunately, when people lose their job it often isolates them. It’s when people don’t take steps to overcome it that should be of concern. It’s a sign that the bottom is beginning to fall out.”

Not answering or responding to phone calls, e-mails and other correspondence are potential warning signs of clinical depression.

Anger (often directed at those closest to us), addiction, lethargy and decreased interest in previously very important activities or spiritual outlets can also be potentially ominous signs.

For people who may have lost their health benefits or at least face higher deductibles, the symptoms, even when identified, often go untreated.

Fortunately, the most effective remedy for symptoms of depression is also a valuable strategy for securing a new job.

“Movement toward other people and the activities associated with a job search are really the best medicine — personally and professionally,” Cummins said, noting electronic resources like LinkedIn and Facebook can’t replace personal connections.

“The people I know who’ve had the best success in finding a new job are the ones who’ve made the most of existing relationships and fostered new ones by reconnecting with professional or industry organizations.”

Another potential constructive activity — one that can also generate healthy personal and professional movement — is looking for new opportunities for growth.

“A positive consequence of the economic turmoil is we’re seeing a lot of innovation,” Cummins added. “Not just industries but also individuals are reinventing themselves by exploring new career paths, skills and interests. It can be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to assess your values and what’s important to you, which is always a healthy exercise.”

 By Linda Lande
 (c) October 22, 2009

The recession has brought some companies—even some industries—to their knees, and hundreds of thousands of people now find themselves unemployed.

If you’re fortunate enough to still be working but suspect that you, too, might be heading toward unemployment, now is the time to prepare. Typically, companies handle employee releases one of three ways:

• With respect and caring. Employees receive at least two weeks’ notification that their jobs will be eliminated.
• With immediacy. Employees are called to Human Resources and told they will be leaving—now.
• With heavy baggage. Employees are not performing their jobs to the level the company expects, so they are asked to leave.

Part I: The Respectful and Caring Employer

If your employer is being acquired by another company, is merging with another company or, due to financial difficulties, will be laying off employees, consider yourself fortunate if you’ve received advance notice. But even with advance notification, many employees either keep doing what they’ve always done or let bitterness and confusion cloud their better judgement. Instead of making good, positive use of their time, they fritz it away with long lunches and short work days.

So, if you one day hear your manager say, “I’m sorry, but we’re going to have to let you go,” consider the following five positive actions that will benefit you—and your employer:

1. Quickly reach a point of understanding.

“Companies forced to lay off employees don’t just think this up one day,” says Renee Conklin, Vice President of Human Resources for SoftBrands, which was acquired in August by Infor. Employers would much rather be expanding and hiring, but difficult business decisions must be made sometimes. Conklin, who not only is overseeing layoffs but also will lose her job at the end of the year, advises people to quickly get themselves to a place of understanding—understanding that this probably is not what the company wants to be doing and that, like it or not, it’s what’s going to happen.

“For me and others I’ve worked with, reaching a point of understanding has been key,” she says. “I find it comforting to know the situation rather than live in the unknown. I appreciate being able to approach it strategically.”

2. Update your resume.

Do it now, while job duties and accomplishments are still fresh. “Focus on what you know rather than what you’ve done,” says Conklin. “List your knowledge, skills and abilities. Let the reader know what you can walk in the door and do. You’ve got their attention for 20 seconds, grab it—and keep it!” (more…)

 By Diva Nikki
 (c) October 14, 2009

You’re finishing up your workday, answering a few more e-mails and tidying up some papers on your desk.  The phone rings and you see on the caller ID that it’s your husband. 

Not uncommon – there are often calls like this at the end of the day to discuss what to pick up for dinner. So you answer, phone crooked between your ear and shoulder so you can multi-task while talking.  And then you hear the words…

“Honey…I’m so sorry to tell you this. But I just lost my job.”

The typing stops. Your hand comes up to hold onto the receiver because you need to hold onto something right now.  You no longer even see the papers on your desk because you’ve developed a sort of tunnel vision. And it feels like your heart just landed in the pit of your stomach.

How do I know?  Because I’ve been there.  Three times in six years of marriage, I’ve been there and gotten that phone call.  My name is Diva Nikki, and I’m a Desperate Workingwife.

Things you need to hear: Don’t panic, and you’re not alone.

Despite your initial instincts, should you be in the midst of one of these phone calls right now, remember the reason that the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy was so popular was because it had the words “Don’t Panic” in large, friendly letters on the cover. (more…)