Tripping On The Ladder

 By Jenaissance
 (c) February 26, 2010

 People who know me well know that I am an unapologetic incubator of ideas.

Some of these little moments of brilliance (or idiocracy, as the case may be) come to fruition, others are foolhardy, but all get equal time in deliberation.

So, it makes me delighted whenever I come across other people’s brilliant ideas. In this new column, The Idea Incubator, I’ll periodically review golden ideas I run into that may benefit you and your loved ones in career transition.

 So, to kick us off here:

As I was flipping through the March 2010 issue of Self magazine, I stumbled upon this great little gem: a short review of Richard Sandomir’s book The Enlightened Bracketologist: The Final Four of Everything. The premise: With March Madness season soon upon us, the article says, why not take the tool of all college basketball affecienados—the bracket—and apply it to your daily life?

Wondering where to go on vacation or debating what to name the new baby? Agonize no more. Choose your top four, eight or 16 vacation destinations, baby names or fill-in-the-blank options, and set up brackets to help you narrow down to a final choice.

If you’re in career transition, you might benefit from brackets as a decision-making tool to help you identify:

• Where to focus your job search efforts, if you’re seeking a new job
• Where to focus your next marketing efforts, if you’re starting a new business
• How to spend that tax refund or the $50 birthday check from your parents
• Where to begin on achieving your professional and personal development efforts

Here’s an illustration of how this could work for you, when you are faced with a long list of ideas but are unsure where to begin. Try it out and let us know how it worked for you!

 By Jennifer Cohen
 (c) February 25, 2010

So I was at the gym the other day and on the back of a shirt, I saw the phrase:

Running is a metaphor for life. You get out of it what you put into it.

Naturally I sped up on the treadmill and ran an extra mile…

So I started thinking how true that statement is and how it really does apply to everything we do. If we simply exist, we will exist. Things will happen, but nothing extraordinary if we aren’t doing anything extraordinary.

My feelings were solidified when I met a woman at a networking meeting the other day. The woman was laid off a few months ago and was starting a new job the following Monday. We made jokes about being unemployed and how we went through a lot of the same troubles. We both went through the motivated stage, then the disappointment phase, and then got right back into the motivation (those phases–shaped like a dip–seem to be more common then you’d think).

We also spoke about how she was able to make looking for a job like a job. She spent at least 8 hours a day doing research, creating a marketing piece for herself, sending resumes and attending networking meetings. In addition, she spent some time volunteering and joined a few industry associations, in which she become a board member. These efforts helped her meet people, work on her skills and, ultimately, land a job opportunity.

I guess sometimes we prevent ourselves from putting out the effort because we can’t identify the rewards or don’t think they are possible…but really, they will never be possible if you don’t try, and if you don’t try your absolute hardest. So why not? Why not try just a little harder and put a little more into it? You might be surprised with how much more will come out of it!

“Fired…Four Times” is a monthly column written by 20-something Jennifer Cohen, chronicling her experiences being fired, four times, and ultimately reinventing herself in a new and successful career as a marketing and social media consultant.

 By Diva Nikki
 (c) February 17, 2010

Your Desperate Workingwife, Diva Nikki, is on a wonderful vacation this week with my husband and parents in the Happiest Place on Earth. 

To answer any questions:

1. No, we did not spend money we don’t have to take a vacation while my husband is still in career transition.
2. My parents are celebrating their 43^rd wedding anniversary today, and wanted to take a special trip to commemorate their many years of happiness together.
3. As a Christmas gift to us, they brought my husband and me with them.
4. Yes, my parents are generous, wonderful, amazing people.
5. No, they are currently not looking to adopt more children…

While I’m spending much needed time off in a world far, far from reality, I’d love to hear from you.

 

What would you like to see me write about in future articles?

Which do you enjoy more – helpful tips with practical advice, or sharing personal feelings and experience?  Or both?

Are there any sources of information you think would inspire the readers of this column?

Are there any topics I’ve written about so far that you found particularly helpful or would like me to write more about?

Leave a message in the comments or e-mail me directly. I write this column for you! 

In the meantime…I have a date with a giant mouse…

 By Diva Nikki
 (c) February 10, 2010

First, I’d like to thank those of you who sent notes of support and concern after my recent Prioritizing Priorities article. 

I’d also like to reassure you that in our household, nothing excremental or otherwise has yet hit the fan. We’re just taking further steps to prepare ourselves as best we can.

Not to say it’s all puppies and rainbows in our lives these days, either. But one thing I’ve noted about times of trial in our lives is that it puts in sharp, unmistakable relief the good things in our lives as well. It makes me think of one of my favorite quotes:

“Don’t block the blessings.” – Patti LaBelle  

As a Desperate Workingwife, here are some of my suggestions for recognizing the blessings in your life…even when your spouse’s career transition may be far, far less than a blessing.

Appreciate your own career and development.
I recently underwent a bit of career transition myself and began reporting to a new manager in a new area of the company at the beginning of this year. I might have been tempted, at first, to think, “Gee…just what I need. More change.” And that would’ve blocked some serious blessings. Because as it turns out, my new manager is one of the best surprises I’ve had in a long time. She believes in me wholeheartedly, pushes me to be better and encourages me to think bigger. She’s completely reenergized my passion for what I do. There’s a blessing I want to count, not block.

Stop and revel in your own accomplishments.
I’m not saying you should rub your own accomplishments in your spouse’s face. Be tactful. But do celebrate your wins in a personal way. Just finished a big project at work? Treat yourself to a pair of shoes on clearance. Lost a pound this week? Do a happy dance in the kitchen. (I highly recommend socks on hardwood floors for the best spinning capabilities.)

Celebrate the accomplishments of others.
You’ve probably heard that even if you’re feeling down, if you physically make yourself smile that act will eventually elicit the corresponding emotion of happiness. (Try it.) Celebrating the blessings of others can bring you blessings of your own. So attend your friend’s baby shower, go to happy hour to celebrate your co-worker’s promotion and hoot and holler when your spouse gets called for an interview.

Notice and accept support with gratitude.
Chance are, you’ve got a great support network in your life. (My best girls – you know who you are and I love you.) Have you noticed that more often lately, as you’ve been living through your spouse’s career transition time, that lunch or coffee tabs are picked up by friends? Rather than argue with them. let them and thank them. Most of us have it in our nature to want to help the people we care about. This is their time to help you – don’t block their blessings by taking that opportunity away from them.

Thank God for the blessings which come out of thin air.
Maybe you got an unexpected refund check in the mail.  Or your heating bill was less than you thought it would be this month. In my case, out of nowhere, a new friend came into my life through one of my music groups. Without any rhyme or reason I could think of, this beautiful woman became somewhat of a personal cheerleader for me and gave me confidence at exactly the time when I needed it. When these things seem to come out of nowhere, simply stop and offer praise for the Holy Spirit’s influence in your life.

Additional Resources:

Patti Labelle, Don’t Block the Blessings – available on Amazon.com

Yvonne Bynoe, Is Your Attitude Blocking Your Blessings?,

 By Jenaissance
 (c) February 9, 2010

Here in the nation’s capital, we have been buried under piles of snow since last Friday afternoon, with another foot or more expected to fall tonight and tomorrow.

While it’s fun to be essentially marooned in the house (thankfully, we have power but thousands of others are not so lucky), even the dog is getting a little sick of staring at the same four walls for days on end. We haven’t figured out how to break it to him that the cabin fever is likely to persist for several more days.

These “snow days” got me thinking about how routines—or lack thereof—can both foster and impede progress. A snow day is a transition in miniature, and there are some lessons that can be applied to transitions of any kind.

1. Break up the routine.
   I wish I had a dollar for all the Facebook postings by friends gleefully exclaiming that work had been shut down on Monday (and then again on Tuesday) due to the snow. There’s a little kid inside all of us who is gleeful anytime the routine gets broken. A free day! No suit and tie! No demands! No obligations! An excuse to park the BlackBerry in the drawer!

   When you’re in career transition, your normal routine is probably different now than it once was, but it’s still easy to get stuck in a rut (even if it’s a rut of “waiting” or of doing “nothing”). Don’t wait for the snow to give you an excuse to break up your routine – Do one thing different today to keep your perspective fresh and your energy high. It can be simple, like going to Starbucks for a Cinnamon Dolce Latte instead of your usual brewed-at-home boring coffee. Or wearing something that’s been in the back of the closet for awhile. Or going to a quirky coffeehouse to do some work, for a change of venue. Or meeting a friend for lunch or visiting a museum in the middle of the day.

   Even in career transition, it’s possible to reclaim that same “giddy,” joyful feeling that a snow day can evoke.

2. But keep some semblance of routine, anyway.
   Despite the thrill of the snow day, by the time you’ve been stuck in the house for four days, the joy and charm of it all starts to wane a bit. The groceries run low. Your pale white skin starts to look green from lack of sunlight. So, while I advocate mixing up the routine a bit, it pays to keep some semblance of a routine in place so you can keep your wits about you.

   The same is true for those of us in career transition. What begins as a liberating moment can one day make you feel stuck. A friend of mine who’s been self-employed off and on over the years gave me this piece of advice when I left my job to start my own business: “Get up and get dressed every day as if you were still going in to the office.”

   While we sure wouldn’t fault you for the occasional day spent in sweat pants, try to “show up” for yourself every day by putting a little effort into your routine.  

3. Do the thing that’s been hanging over your head.
   There were dozens of things I really could have—or should have—tended to while being stranded in the house over the weekend. Gathering paperwork for tax time, ironing my husband’s dress shirts (I offer to do this for him, by the way) and working on a project for a client were on the list. Instead, I organized my sock drawer.

   Why the sock drawer, you may ask? Well, it had become a jumbled mess, and every time I opened the drawer to pull out a pair, I was reminded of how much it was annoying me. I longed for the basic order of a well-tidied sock drawer: one row for athletic socks, one row for dress socks, one row for casual and wool socks (and the fabulous socks my friend Nikki knits for me, which are simply the best!).

   When you are in job transition, there are likely a few tasks—some small, some large— that are hanging over your head: unfinished business in your personal or professional life that you keep bumping into. Give yourself permission, for just one hour or just one day, to focus your efforts on dealing with them for once and for all. You can always get back to “business as usual” tomorrow.

4. Seek out community.
   As the snow began to fall already last Friday, a neighbor knocked on our door to let us know about an impromptu happy hour in the community room of our condo building.  Then, on Saturday, another knock on the door – the same neighbor, with another invitation to another impromptu party. We don’t usually socialize with our neighbors (in fact, until we got our dog, we barely knew anyone here) but we decided it would be a fun change of pace, so we went. We stayed for hours. We met a woman originally from Minnesota, a military officer who works at the Pentagon, a former interior designer who is writing a cookbook, a fellow writer who moonlights as a dog-walker,  a newcomer from Connecticut who just moved here in December. We left feeling a lot of goodwill and affection toward our neighbors. Now when we leave our building and run into someone, instead of simply asking, “How’s the dog?”, they now also ask, “How’s business? How’s your family? Heading back to Wisconsin soon?”

   When you’re in transition, it’s easy to wall yourself off from people – maybe because you are so focused on your “next thing” or perhaps because you feel like less of yourself right now. But now is not the time to hunker down alone. Even if you don’t feel like you can (or want to) actively seek out community right now, at least allow yourself to be invited into one.  You will leave a more fulfilled and supported person, I promise you.

   And, even if nothing else, perhaps you will leave with the name of a good dog walker!

  By Diva Nikki
 (c) February 3, 2010

A few weeks ago I wrote about the importance of  keeping the romance going while you’re experiencing career transition in your household.  Of course, it can be challenging to be romantic when you’re watching your pennies. 

With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, I thought I’d give you some more ideas for keeping the spark alive, even on a budget.

 Have a cocktails and karaoke night – in your own living room.
(Or kitchen, as it happened to be in our case.)  Make some cocktails, plug the iPod into some speakers, and sing away to all your favorite songs.

 Support the local performing arts.
Attend community theater, community choir, high school or college performances. Tickets tend to be fairly inexpensive, and you might be surprised at the quality of entertainment.

Write letters to each other.
On paper. Reminisce about past dates, anniversaries, vacations or fond memories. Leave the letters as a surprise for each other in random places around the house.

Go to the movies – on a budget.
Attend matinees for new releases you can’t wait for. If your community has one, wait a few weeks, then catch the flick for ½ the price at the local budget theater. (The one where I live also serves affordable pizza!)

Invite other couples over for a shared meal with a theme.
Ask each person to bring a dish (thus saving costs for you) to fit the evening’s theme. Themes could be anything from a country to a certain color or letter.

Be tourists in your own town.
Check out your city’s tourism or chamber of commerce website to find local attractions or events with free admission. You might be amazed at the local treasures you find, like museums, parks, gardens, lectures or outdoor concerts.

Relive great memories.
On a quiet evening, pull out your wedding photos, honeymoon photos and other scrapbooks, cards or letters you’ve kept over the years. Cuddle up together and enjoy reliving the events that have made you who you are as a couple.

Learn something new.
Check your local city recreation, YMCA or community college schedules for available classes coming up. Classes through those organizations tend to be quite affordable. Pick a new skill you’d like to learn together like painting, ballroom dancing or woodworking and enjoy time together during class each week. Who knows – that new skill might even come in handy for your spouse’s new career.

 Begin a fitness routine.
Maybe it’s just taking a walk each day – or maybe you want to train together for a 5K next summer. Become each others’ fitness partners. You’ll not only get to spend time together, but you’ll also be able to keep each other motivated to reach your goals.

Volunteer and help others.
Usher at church, do yard clean-up for an elderly neighbor, read books at a nursing home, serve food at the local emergency shelter, walk dogs at the local animal shelter – there are any number of volunteer activities you can do together. And while your hearts are warmed by being together, you’ll also warm the hearts of others through your service to them.

We’d love to hear from you: How do you and your spouse keep love alive on a budget?