Tripping On The Ladder

 By Diva Nikki
 (c) October 28, 2009

We’ve already talked about What NOT to Say. But what conversations should you have with an unemployed spouse? And how and when do you have those conversations?

What to say in the first 24-48 hours

“I’m so sorry, honey.”
At this point, acknowledge the loss your spouse is feeling. Think of it almost as if you were greeting family members at a funeral service.

“I know this is not your fault.”
Let your spouse know—directly—that you know he isn’t to blame for what happened.

“We’ll get through this together.”
Encourage solidarity. Let your spouse know he or she is not alone—you are partners.

What to say in the first two weeks

“How can I help?”
In the first two weeks, your spouse will be scrambling to get a resume updated, find job search Web sites, register for unemployment insurance and begin networking.  There may actually be ways to help, like proofreading cover letters or sharing job resources you’ve heard about (like this Web site). But be careful to offer and not be pushy. Only help where you’re asked to help. (more…)

 By Tripping on the Ladder
 (c) 2009

We spend so much time, money and effort in pursuit of our academic and career  goals–and, in a down economy like the one we’re in, increasing numbers of people are pursuing expensive graduate and professional degrees while waiting for the employment forecast to improve.  

So what happens, either today or sometime down the road, when, after working so hard to achieve your career aspirations, you discover it’s not as fulfilling as you had hoped?

In this edition of “Ask the Experts,” we turn to one of our regular experts, Julie Paleen of Blue Star Group, to shine the spotlight on this frequent experience and what to do from here.

To read this and other recent Ask the Experts columns, click here.

 Featuring Julie Paleen
 Professional Coach and HR Consultant, Blue Star Group
 

Do you have a question you’d like to “Ask the Experts”? Submit your question to editor@trippingontheladder.

 By Linda Lande
 (c) October 24, 2009

The recession has brought some companies—even some industries—to their knees, and hundreds of thousands of people now find themselves unemployed.

Part III: The ”It’s Not Working” Scenario 

It happens. Maybe the job was a mismatch from the start. Maybe your personal life is stressed due to illness or a pending divorce. Or maybe the job has morphed into something that just doesn’t resonate well with your skills, career preferences or stress threshold. But, the day has come, and your boss has put you on report.

Before panic makes the situation even more stressful, consider these options:

Breathe and reflect.
Finish the workday and then step away from the situation a bit—take a walk, go fishing, strum your guitar. Then ask yourself: Is there truth in what my boss is saying? If so, determine the cause: Are you tired or stressed? Is your mind preoccupied? Do you have a hard time concentrating? Are there work issues of which your boss is not aware?

(Note: If concentrating is the issue, consider seeking professional help. Some adults have undiagnosed attention-deficit disorder or may be experiencing symptoms of burn-out. Others may have hormonal imbalance or blood sugar issues, to name a few.)

 Create a plan of action.
The ball is in your court, so don’t let silence make the situation worse. If you agree that you must make changes, and if you’re willing to make those changes, present an action plan to your boss. Ask for his or her input and approval and report your progress as you go. If the issue involves co-worker relationship matters, consider discussing these with your boss, as well. Again, remember to have solutions—an action plan—in mind. This shows initiative and commitment on your part. (more…)

 By Linda Lande
 (c) October 23, 2009

The recession has brought some companies—even some industries—to their knees, and hundreds of thousands of people now find themselves unemployed.

Part II:  The “You’re Out the Door Now” Employer

Some employers, rather than trusting employees to react professionally when faced with the news of a layoff, assume the worst and “show employees the door” that same day. It’s hard to prepare for something like that, but chances are, you might have had an inkling of sorts—a feeling that something might be amiss.

There are a number of things that any employee should do, whether or not he or she suspects being shown the door. Putting these disciplines into practice not only makes good business sense; it will help take the edge off your immediate, surprise exit.

Keep your suspicions to yourself.
A sure-fire way to ensure your departure is to blab your suspicions around the office, which only serves to demoralize your coworkers and let management know what you “expect” rather than what you merely suspect. Decide either to be quiet or to be a positive, uplifting voice in the workplace.

Copy and take home documents that you might need later.
Consider keeping a USB flash drive in your briefcase, and use it solely to store personal but work-related information, such as your job description, performance reviews, work awards, and complimentary notes and e-mails. If you’re called to Human Resources and then promptly escorted out the door, you won’t have time to collect work documents that might be of value to you. Even if you’re allowed back to your desk to pack up your personal items, chances are the computer you used will be locked. (more…)

 By Linda Lande
 (c) October 22, 2009

The recession has brought some companies—even some industries—to their knees, and hundreds of thousands of people now find themselves unemployed.

If you’re fortunate enough to still be working but suspect that you, too, might be heading toward unemployment, now is the time to prepare. Typically, companies handle employee releases one of three ways:

• With respect and caring. Employees receive at least two weeks’ notification that their jobs will be eliminated.
• With immediacy. Employees are called to Human Resources and told they will be leaving—now.
• With heavy baggage. Employees are not performing their jobs to the level the company expects, so they are asked to leave.

Part I: The Respectful and Caring Employer

If your employer is being acquired by another company, is merging with another company or, due to financial difficulties, will be laying off employees, consider yourself fortunate if you’ve received advance notice. But even with advance notification, many employees either keep doing what they’ve always done or let bitterness and confusion cloud their better judgement. Instead of making good, positive use of their time, they fritz it away with long lunches and short work days.

So, if you one day hear your manager say, “I’m sorry, but we’re going to have to let you go,” consider the following five positive actions that will benefit you—and your employer:

1. Quickly reach a point of understanding.

“Companies forced to lay off employees don’t just think this up one day,” says Renee Conklin, Vice President of Human Resources for SoftBrands, which was acquired in August by Infor. Employers would much rather be expanding and hiring, but difficult business decisions must be made sometimes. Conklin, who not only is overseeing layoffs but also will lose her job at the end of the year, advises people to quickly get themselves to a place of understanding—understanding that this probably is not what the company wants to be doing and that, like it or not, it’s what’s going to happen.

“For me and others I’ve worked with, reaching a point of understanding has been key,” she says. “I find it comforting to know the situation rather than live in the unknown. I appreciate being able to approach it strategically.”

2. Update your resume.

Do it now, while job duties and accomplishments are still fresh. “Focus on what you know rather than what you’ve done,” says Conklin. “List your knowledge, skills and abilities. Let the reader know what you can walk in the door and do. You’ve got their attention for 20 seconds, grab it—and keep it!” (more…)

 By Diva Nikki
 (c) October 21, 2009

You’ve had The Dreaded Phone Call. You’ve recovered enough to get yourself into the car and drive home—where your spouse is waiting for you with his box full of framed photos and miscellaneous office junk he’s cleared off his desk.

What you want to do is scream. What you want to say is: “How could you do this to me?”

Please do yourself and your spouse a favor: Don’t.

Having been through this scenario three times in my marriage, I feel I have at least a certain amount of expertise in this area. Believe me—it’s not an area I’d choose to have expertise in. But life deals us what life deals us and I’ve learned to deal with this unexpected change in a way that’s kept my marriage solid.

Things you want to say to your unemployed spouse but you really, really shouldn’t:

“What did you do to make them fire you?”
This statement puts blame on your spouse—for something very likely not his or her fault.  In these economic times, even the most talented, faithful employees are finding themselves “right-sized” right out of their jobs.

“How could you do this to me?”
While you’re understandably worried about how this change will affect you, right now this isn’t about you. Your spouse (unless he’s a truly sadistic person, in which case you might want to be reading some other blogs right now) did not do this to you. He didn’t purposely decide to become unemployed to harm you. In truth, he’s probably feeling right now like the company did this to him. (more…)

 By Sharon Korbeck Verbeten
 (c) October 20, 2009

 
Quick—let’s play word association. What comes to mind when I say the word “unplugged?”

Depending on your age and status in life, it could conjure up images of [insert your favorite 1980s band name here] playing one of their head-banging hits acoustically on MTV. That’s likely when the term “unplugged” really entered our collective vernacular.

And while unplugging the electric guitar (or Guitar Hero, as it were) may bring down the adrenaline level a bit, these days, the verb has a new meaning, somewhere along the lines of “Step away from the BlackBerry…and no one will get hurt!”

Whether working mom (can I see a show of cell-phone free hands, please?) or corporate executive, no one is immune to the BlackBerry—its lure is as indelible as the stains caused by the fruit it’s named after. 

An article appearing this summer in The Washington Post online urged corporate leaders to “unplug” themselves to set an example for their employees. The author, a corporate CEO, noted that in times of economic recession, it can be even more challenging to “disconnect” from our work—when every deal, every moment, every interaction matters even more.

 But achieving that weekend balance between staying on top of work (being responsible) and losing oneself in nirvana (being human) is like riding a seesaw as an adult—not especially comfortable or fun (plus those inevitable blasted splinters). 

 Here’s a glimpse of how some working women—from librarians to corporate VPs—unplug from their busy work weeks.

Do what you love.
Terri Abblett, a business analyst with Freddie Mac in Washington, D.C. spends her days surrounded by heavy information. So to de-stress, she spends her weekends surrounded by heavy cream. “I’m trying to get my personal chef business up and running, so a few weekends a month, I cook for people, which actually is a de-stressor for me. If I’m not cooking for them, I like to cook for myself and eat the results!”

Regress to De-stress.
You might think that Wisconsin librarian Kristen Anderson would pick up a good book to unplug. But for her, nothing is better than spending time with her two young nephews. “I’ve always found that they help me slow down and look around more than I normally would.”

Bring on the bubbly.
For some, that means champagne, for others, the calming zen of a whirlpool tub. “For me, it’s a whirlpool bath, with the lights down and a girly cocktail, like a mudslide (but the easy kind that come in a bottle that you just pour over chipped ice!), said Lou Ann Nettekoven, an advertising/communications manager in Green Bay, Wis.

Get back to nature.
If all else fails, lock the PDA in a drawer and get outside, no matter the season, no matter the reason. “I have a standing date with my husband to walk to the local coffee shop. Sometimes we extend the walk into the nearby woods to bird watch or visit the local farmers’ market,” said Laura Schulte-Cooper, a library association program officer from Chicago. And Kristin Van Drisse doesn’t have to go far—the De Pere, Wis., banking VP simply heads to her backyard pond—complete with illuminated steps and koi fish—to listen to the calming waterfall.

 By Jenaissance
 (c) October 19, 2009

It’s October. The days are dampening, the air has a chill, and the sights of Halloween and the scents of apple crisp are everywhere. Take advantage of this quiet “cozy season” to wrap yourself in plans for your future by hunkering down for a personal retreat with yourself.

Whether you’re preparing to launch a new business, seeking to re-energize your life, or simply wanting to engage your creative spirit again, a personal retreat can help you get started on a new path.

In my household, I often joke about the “eye-rolling test”—if my husband doesn’t roll his eyes at an idea, it must be pretty good. So, first let me help pass the eye-rolling test for you here: Put away all the images you have of those office retreats you’ve suffered through over the years, the ones full of silly team-building exercises and awkward moments (remember the “trust walk,” anyone?). That’s not what we’re talking about here. And wipe away the assumption that a “retreat” involves a fancy hotel, catered meals and hokey speakers hawking their new books and CDs out in the hallway after the program. That’s not what we’re talking about, either.

Instead, we’re talking, simply, about you, and about the discipline of giving yourself the dedicated time, space and permission to think big, and make plans, to fulfill your vision for yourself. I have done this myself at least once a year for the past several years, and it is one of my favorite days all year—and certainly one of the best things I ever do for myself. Here’s how. (more…)

 By Tripping on the Ladder
 (c) 2009

You work hard. You do a good job. So what do you do when you find out you’ve been passed over for a promotion and that, worse yet, your good friend in the office has been given it?

In today’s “Ask the Expert” column, Rebecca L. Williams, a Chicago-based Senior HR consultant and Professional Coach with Williams Business Solutions, offers her best suggestions for how to move beyond the disappointing news and what you can do to position yourself for “next time.”

To read this and other recent “Ask the Experts” columns, click here.  

 Featuring Rebecca Williams
 Senior HR Consultant and Professional Coach, Williams Business Solutions
 

Do you have a question you’d like to “Ask the Experts”? Submit your question to editor@trippingontheladder.

 By Tripping on the Ladder
 (c) October 15, 2009

Even under the best of circumstances, the annual performance review at the office can evoke dread in even the highest of performers. So what do you do when you think you’re doing a fine job but your boss doesn’t agree?

In today’s “Ask the Expert” column, Julie Paleen, a professional coach and HR consultant with Blue Star Group, offers a few tips for what to do — and offers hope that all is not lost.

To read this and other recent Ask the Experts columns, click here.  

 Featuring Julie Paleen
 Professional Coach and HR Consultant, Blue Star Group
 

Do you have a question you’d like to “Ask the Experts”? Submit your question to editor@trippingontheladder.